Primal Need: A Sexy Male/Male Shifter Anthology Read online

  He gestured for Benjamin to go, go back to the boat. He began to follow, but he’d lost too much blood.

  Benjamin pulled Rez through the gap in the rock, using up most of his oxygen to try to get Rez to the surface with him. Benjamin knew it was futile, but he couldn’t leave Rez behind.

  Without oxygen for both of them, they wouldn’t make the surface. But leaving your brother in service, your best friend, behind, wasn’t done. Benjamin offered Rez the regulator so that he could get some air. Rez shook his head and kicked away from Benjamin, blood streaming everywhere and obscuring the flashlight beam.

  Benjamin had no idea how Rez even had the strength to struggle, given his severe injuries. He tried to drag Rez, to give him air, but he would not accept it. Finally, he swam far enough away and motioned to the boat—the other men who’d need help. Benjamin stared at his mangled body, but didn’t want to leave him to die in the water, in the darkness. Yet the others might be under attack.

  The crew above would never leave before the divers surfaced, and Benjamin couldn’t let them wait, wondering if he and Rez were still alive, fighting until there was either no hope or no chance.

  It was an impossible choice. Rez used his remaining strength and air to move away from Benjamin, forcing the decision.

  But as Benjamin left him, he felt like he’d carved out a bit of his soul and let the water drag it down with Rez. Hopeless.

  Even though it was what they’d trained to do, what Rez wanted him to do.

  Benjamin surfaced from sleep like he shot from the water that day. Gasping, shaking, trying not to scream. He’d failed. He screamed, and it was like every other time this dream had come to him in the hospital and would wake the entire ward. They’d drug him insensible to “calm him.”

  This time, instead of a quick dose of IV sedatives, Benjamin felt warm arms roll him onto his back. He smelled Rez, heard his breathing, and felt a comforting weight settle above him.

  One hand cupped the back of Benjamin’s neck, and the other supported Rez’s weight. “I’m here, Benjamin. I’m here. What was it?”

  “Nothing. A dream.”

  “Not nothing. You’re shaking, and you were screaming.”

  “It keeps getting more and more fucking embarrassing. I screamed your name too, didn’t I?”

  “Yes, you did,” he said. “What can I do to make you feel less embarrassed? Less vulnerable?”

  “I don’t think there’s anything you can do. I keep replaying the explosion where you saved me and made me leave you in the water. It just about killed me. Oh god. I don’t know why I still have that dream if you’re here, but fuck, that was the hardest thing I ever did, leaving you down in the water.”

  “You had to, Benjamin. There was no choice. I would’ve died if the kelpies hadn’t come for me, and they wouldn’t have taken me while you were there. Plus, you saved the crew members who were still alive after they were ambushed by the traitor.”

  * * *

  “I didn’t save all of them,” Benjamin said. “Two were dead by the time I reached the surface.”

  “Still, the story I heard from a very reliable source said that you rallied the sailors, who’d been frozen, waiting for us to return. The fact that you were able to stand with them when you’d surfaced too quickly and were injured—probably losing your vision as well—is unbelievable.”

  “It felt like I was dying, so I figured I might as well make it a good end. But that bastard got away. He got the payoff from the warlord who was running drugs and used us to eliminate one of his rivals. It was a complete setup.”

  “You did everything right, everything that could be expected of you and more. There’re a handful of thankful men and women who directly owe their lives to you. I’m one of them.” Rez settled himself down on his side next to Benjamin. “My band also owes you a debt, so if need be, I will call upon that if we can’t meet the other conditions. I don’t know if that would work, but it’s worth trying.”

  Benjamin’s chest rose and fell in a stuttering motion. An attempt to stifle tears? Emotion? Rez couldn’t help but press his palm over Benjamin’s heart. “I’m sorry. I never meant for you to get hurt, for you to get trapped in kelpie blood-lore, or for you to have to face choices that are completely abhorrent to you.”

  Benjamin turned his face to Rez, and Rez saw the fight in his expression. “You know what? I’m tired of being the object of pity. I don’t want your fucking pity or your promises. I don’t need anybody to fight my battles. I’d already picked the last battle since I couldn’t go down after you did in the water. Everybody is apologizing to me, always apologizing—like it will fix a damn thing. Like it will help me get my life back or make it worth living or make the nightmares go away. I wasn’t born to crawl, to beg, to need coddling.”

  “I’m not coddling you. I’m trying to make it right. I’m trying to help you find a way to live in the world as you are instead of as you were...but you have a death sentence hanging over your head.”

  “I know. I’m cool with it. Maybe you could give me a few extra pills before we go into the water? But I’m okay, you know?”

  “Fuck, you are not okay. If you were okay, you’d never agree to such a thing.” Rez reached for Benjamin’s hair, smoothed over it, then rubbed his stubbled cheeks and chin.

  Rez rolled onto him fully, pressing his lean body into the mattress. He pushed his hips into Benjamin’s, and blind eyes flared open, even as his hips bucked under Rez.

  “What?” Benjamin panted but followed Rez’s body in the start of their carnal dance.

  “Is it so impossible for you to imagine being with me? Death is preferable?”

  “No,” Benjamin said. “I don’t want that to be the choice—death or you. What kind of choice is that? If I choose to die, I am rejecting you, and if I choose you, you can never be sure if I wanted you or if I was too scared to die. It’s a fucked-up situation with no way to win. It’s not how I’d choose, even if I’d thought about being with you before. And I am attracted to you, but this is new to me. I’ve always been into women before, at least I thought so. There was a fair amount of porn with two guys and a girl, and it seems like that kind of arrangement would be easier. But I love you. You’re my best friend. Can I make the transition from friendship to amorous love? I don’t know. I’m babbling. I’m so fucked-up in the head right now. I can’t give you a straight answer.”

  Rez snorted. “A straight answer is not what I’m seeking. You feel me above you?”

  Benjamin shifted under him. “Yes.”

  “What do you feel?”

  “You’re heavy. Not crushing me, but your presence is all around me, bearing down on me. On my mind, my body, my will, my confused lust.”

  “Lust... Now we’re getting somewhere.” Rez lowered himself all the way onto Benjamin so that his weight was on his hands and arms, but Benjamin was caged close. “What else do you feel?”

  “You are warm—hot. It’s crazy how much heat you put out. Is it always like that, or is it just when you’re, um...aroused?”

  Benjamin was warm too, but it felt like the blush of embarrassment or discomfort. Rez needed to get him past it, to the point that he wanted the contact and the intimacy more than he was afraid of it, because Rez didn’t just take male lovers of any variety.

  Though he wasn’t what the humans would call a “dominant,” he was a kelpie stallion, and stallions were not mounted. As head stallion of the band, he would still have needed to fight Kjell every time if they’d been mated.

  Benjamin didn’t only have to accept the idea of a male lover; he had to accept that he would be taken. Not the taker.

  “Kelpies run hot, but this is arousal. I want you, Benjamin. I did even before the accident and the sacrifice mark. I couldn’t admit it, for so many reasons. The military, the fact that you were such a hit with the wome
n and seemed straight, my identity as a kelpie, my status as an officer of a rank higher than you, these things were part of what kept me away from you. But I sought you out because you appealed to my senses. You were tall and handsome and so damn good that you just shone with it. Maybe I wanted to tarnish you a little. I don’t know. Maybe I wanted to wreck you, but life beat me to it.”

  Rez shut his eyes in the darkness and pressed his lips to Benjamin’s.

  For minutes, their breathing mingled, and Rez wanted a response from him. Rez waited, body strung tight.

  Chapter Eight

  Rez buzzed with tension above Benjamin. He could feel how strung tight Rez was. What a gentleman, trying to give Benjamin space to decide.

  The problem was Benjamin didn’t want to have to make a decision. He wanted to be swept under if Rez could make him feel this overwhelming desire for something he’d never wanted before. For a blind man with fewer options for adrenaline rushes, this was working admirably as a substitute. But was that all it was? Another way to jump off a cliff and deploy the parachute at the last moment? Diving deeper and faster than anyone but Rez ever had?

  Benjamin needed to know. Either way. Grief had ripped him apart when he thought Rez was dead, and he didn’t think he wanted to be away from Rez for any length of time.

  Benjamin’s mind was slow catching on, but his body was down with the program. His arms pulled Rez down, and he found Rez’s mouth and kissed him.

  It was awkward, but in the dark Benjamin had found his way before, and in the perpetual darkness, Rez was there. Sheltering him, holding himself between Benjamin and the world, as he’d done after the explosion and every other time it was needed.

  Rez tasted like relief and a minty mouthwash. His mouth was soft, his kiss teasing at first. His lips encouraged exploration and further intimacy. Once he had Benjamin entangled, Rez took control.

  It was exhilarating. Like what he’d heard with Kjell. Holy fuck. His hips slapped down on Benjamin’s and began a rocking motion that forced him to break from the kiss to breathe.

  Benjamin was harder than he could remember being—ever. The weight bearing down on him meant something different, and Rez’s mouth found the spot on Benjamin’s shoulder that was exactly where Rez’s bite mark from Kjell was.

  Benjamin braced as Rez licked over the skin on that spot, preparing him, warning him.

  Then his teeth found flesh. Rez bit down, and the pain mingled with intense pleasure. He snaked a hand into Benjamin’s sweats, grasped his cock firmly and stroked hard.

  Rez laughed as he stroked. “Your sweats are on backward.”

  Benjamin groaned and pressed into his hand. Any awkwardness had fled. He wanted.

  “Say yes,” Rez said.

  “What am I agreeing to?”

  He bit Benjamin again, and pain flared as the skin broke and blood ran over his shoulder. Rez lapped it up as he continued stroking Benjamin’s cock. “You’re agreeing to me. I’m going to fuck you.”

  What was this wild creature? Benjamin didn’t mean Rez, though he certainly was. He meant himself. Heat pulsed in his gut, his belly, spread out to his toes and fingertips.

  He’d never even considered such a thing. Well...if he was honest with himself, maybe he had a bit, but mostly his idea of anal sex was something he thought to try with a female partner where he was safely on top.

  “I don’t know,” Benjamin said. His voice quavered.

  Rez’s hair brushed against his neck, cheek, ear. He captured Benjamin’s lips again and made him almost insensible with pleasure.

  “Try again,” Rez demanded. “You know.”

  Rez stripped him of his T-shirt, then he gripped the damned sweats and carefully pulled them over Benjamin’s straining cock.

  He kissed his way down Benjamin’s chest to his groin, where all his desire and longing centered. Rez sucked the tip of Benjamin’s cock into his incredibly hot mouth, and Benjamin forgot how to breathe. Holy...what?

  Rez applied a bit of teeth to the best blowjob Benjamin had ever imagined. Where was the line between a little biting and becoming the sacrifice for real? Benjamin trusted Rez and the question floated away as he offered himself up to the pleasure Rez gave. He stripped the sweats the rest of the way down Benjamin’s legs.

  The panic returned when Benjamin couldn’t decide if he liked the manhandling. It reminded him of being manipulated in the hospital when he was wounded. It was Rez. He trusted Rez. He could stop this at any time with a word.

  Rez licked him playfully, then his weight lifted away and the panic receded. Benjamin wanted him back. That resolved the internal dilemma. He missed Rez’s heat and surety.

  Benjamin heard Rez removing his clothes and rattling around in a drawer, maybe? Benjamin reached out to him. “Yes, alright? Yes.”

  “Whatever I need?”

  “Yes.” Benjamin was ready to beg.

  “Anything?”

  “God, will you leave me some dignity?”

  “Not while we’re here, and we’re naked. No. You can have your dignity back later.” With deft, strong arms, Rez flipped Benjamin onto his stomach and pulled him back to his hands and knees.

  Never had he been vulnerable like this, never waiting and scared and hungry before.

  Rez draped himself over Benjamin, reapplying his teeth to the bite mark. “That’s over your sacrifice mark, though you can’t see it. The blood might weaken the magic. But it’s possible that I just enjoy biting you like I would bite a mare beneath me. A mare I was about to mount.”

  Benjamin’s lungs wouldn’t allow a full breath. He was panting when Rez pushed his legs further apart and bore down on his shoulders so that Benjamin’s ass was in the air and his face was crushed to the pillow. “Hold still.”

  That order again, from when Rez saved him from the water. Benjamin froze. He couldn’t help it with that tone from Rez. One of Rez’s hands returned to Benjamin’s cock, and the other brushed over the darkest, most secret place on his body.

  “You’ve never done this?”

  “No,” Benjamin whispered. He heard a click behind him, and the sound of his hands rubbing together. It reminded him of the shampoo in the shower.

  Rez waited, but not for long before he took one lubricated hand and started jacking Benjamin in earnest. With the other, Rez circled his entrance with an insistent pressure. The pressure increased until the tip of Rez’s finger was inside, and Benjamin’s brain short-circuited.

  Rez stopped the hand that was working Benjamin’s cock, and Benjamin growled a protest. He’d been so close to the edge, the very precipice.

  But Rez must have sensed that. He knew what Benjamin wanted like no one, including Benjamin himself, ever had. He brought his hand to Benjamin’s face, turning him so Rez could claim his mouth.

  The sensation of being taken, being in the dark and having to trust his partner so completely, was terrifying. Benjamin doubted he could have stood it with anyone else.

  Rez pressed his wrist against Benjamin’s mouth after he ended the kiss. He continued increasing the pressure of his arm against bared teeth.

  “Bite down.” Rez pushed again.

  “Wha—?” The taste of Rez’s flesh was between Benjamin’s teeth with the tickle of the fine hairs and the slightest hint of horse and sweat. Benjamin couldn’t bite him, why would Rez want that?

  Rez forced his finger all the way into Benjamin’s hole.

  His teeth buried themselves in Rez’s flesh. It was not enough to break the skin, but the bite had to hurt like hell.

  Benjamin’s brain tried to reboot, because the pressure/pain of Rez’s finger inside him was pegged on the side of hurting. Benjamin had lost the pleasure and was seconds from asking Rez to stop, when a second finger was inserted, doubling the discomfort and stretching.

  Benjamin
sucked air in through his nose and kept his bite on Rez. His breathing and heartbeat stuttered. This wasn’t sex. This was a claiming...and Benjamin wasn’t sure that was what he’d signed up for.

  As if Rez knew his thoughts, he said, “Anything. You promised me anything. This is a mating ceremony. I’d do anything to save your life, so I give you mine. We’re bound together. You may decide you do not love me in this way, but we will have this once, and afterward I will be pledged to you in the way of my herd, and I will take none other. If you find that you are not in love with me, you will be able to take female lovers, but never another male.”

  He kissed Benjamin’s neck and said, “I’m not soft or romantic, and for that I’m sorry. You deserve to be cherished, but hopefully the pleasure will be sufficient as a trade-off.”

  Benjamin had no idea what pleasure Rez was talking about. It. Fucking. Hurt.

  Behind him, Rez squeezed the bottle of lube, and it made an indecent sound.

  Benjamin gasped and bit down when he felt Rez’s lubricated cock stroke over his entrance, and Rez’s fingers withdrew. “I don’t think I can do this.”

  “Take a breath.”

  Benjamin tried, but couldn’t.

  Then Rez was pressing in, his thick cock in a place that had never been touched. His cock harder and bigger than his fingers had been.

  Benjamin whimpered.

  “Shh. Breathe,” Rez said, stilling himself with just the head of his cock lodged inside. He stroked Benjamin’s back and wiped away the tears streaming from his eyes.

  “Breathe.” Rez grabbed Benjamin’s hips and shoved a few inches inside. He withdrew at a slight angle and sparks flew across Benjamin’s useless eyes. Maybe the synapses of his brain misfiring. Maybe he was going to have a stroke.

  Rez paused a moment. “This is the worst part. Just breathe and it’ll get so much better. Break the skin on my arm when you have me fully inside.”

  Benjamin opened his mouth to tell Rez to wait, to stop. The pressure, the burning and stretching dark pleasure, was so overwhelming he thought he might die from it.